“if you want to get better, you have to find out what you’re avoiding and what you’re afraid of. and maybe what you’re disgusted by. you have to expose yourself to that voluntarily, and you have to let that change you. it’s not a pleasant process. it’s a voluntary confrontation of things that make up life’s horrors.”— Dr. Jordan Peterson
another social media platform for me to indulge my racing thoughts in:
sometimes i don’t want anyone to see what i think or feel. it’s quite scary to know people can see how unstable and vulnerable you really are. i’m always terrified. i’m always paranoid of what i’m doing now. i hate how frequent i over think and over analyze situations, people, my own behaviors/mannerisms. i guess i’m still suffering from PTSD from my past relationship and bs from 2018z i just can’t wrap my head around the fact that this person outright lied about everything. if they didn’t truly love me like they said you did, why didn’t they just spare me? i could have been completely okay and i wouldn’t feel so hyper critical of myself as 1) a person but as well as a partner. at least i’m able to acknowledge this so this is quite reassuring.
i love my girlfriend dearly, it still shocks me to know that someone could see me *this* close and still love me for it. i don’t want to feel like i’m not good enough for her bc i know that’s how i get myself into self sabotaging behavior. i’m glad i’m hyper aware of this now.
she’s deserving of a partner that treats her gently and is understanding of her past. i don’t see it as “baggage” what’s so ever. in fact, it gives me more of a reason to love her the right way, and i guess i need to eat my own damn words because she probably sees it the same way haha’
it’s so nice to have a partner where the feelings are mutual.
it’s nice to meet a girl that doesn’t make me doubt how she feels about me and i never her want her to feel that either.
i love this girl with my whole heart.
